This prompt couldn’t be more timely.
In the midst of destruction, there are only two options: accept defeat or move forward and overcome. I can’t wallow in misery anymore. What is gone is gone. A year ago I didn’t have any intention of getting involved with anyone. I was content to be alone. It’s time to remember what my plans were then, when I was happy, when I was unhurt.
I have all I need and then some. I don’t have to lie down in the rubble and regret what could have been. If it were meant to be. If there had been any truth in it, it would have been important to both of us. I wouldn’t have had to deal with all the difficulties alone. Hell, there would have been a lot fewer difficulties. So many problems were created from nothing. That’s not love. That’s a hurt person hurting another person, trying to find relief.
I want someone who doesn’t need to hurt me to alleviate their own pain. I want someone who feels protective of me and guards my heart as steadfastly as their own. I want someone I can relax around, someone I can trust. I want someone who knows who they are and who doesn’t hate who I am.
I want a real home. So, the foundation is laid. Allowing myself to want is huge. I have been afraid to even care. I’m tired of hurting. I don’t want to anymore.