He holds in both hands a treasure. He says, “This is yours. But you can’t have it.” Perhaps I can earn it? I make a decision: When he hurts me I will forgive him. When he misunderstands me and disregards me, I will accept it. I will help him, I will put all my faith in him, I will be stronger than I’m able for longer than I have ever been. I will love him like he is my own heart, because he already is.
“You are a crazy joke.”
I can’t anymore. I am a crazy joke. Nothing I do is ever going to change this. This man breaks me and blames me and shames me. I feel cheated, but he made it clear from the beginning, I would never really possess what he had shown me. It was just bait and I walked into the trap.
Now, I have to remember every day until I finally forget…..my efforts were useless. He never knew me and all he saw in me was just this: a crazy joke